Mister Ryan

Ryan and I were supposed to meet in 7th grade when he was going to transfer to my school and didn't. I know this because I sat next to his desk all year and wondered who he was. We didn't end up meeting until high school - sophomore year. He sat next to me in Math class and that is where our friendship really began. I guess it was kismet.

I recall the first time we went out together. He told me he showed his Dad my picture in the yearbook and his Dad gave him $100 to take me to dinner after one of his swim meets.

On the weekends we would venture to Foy's - a halloween gag shop with tons of random things, including a live monkey that we liked to visit. There we purchased stink bombs (small glass vials filled with sulphur liquid) to set off in the school hallways after strategically planning where our classes were, so that we wouldn't have to smell it. Eventually he changed schools to accommodate his swimming schedule and joined a swim team an hour away, where he would drive every day. Even different schools didn't deter our friendship. He has become the brother that I never had and he still calls just to chat with my mom.

He has always been a jokester and insanely witty. He was one of the best swimmers in the state and I would attend his swim meets and sit with his family to cheer him on. I quickly learned where he got his sense of humor. His mom would tell me stories about when he was younger and she would spank him and he would tell her to 'do it harder because it didn't hurt'. She also dressed him up as a vampire when he was about 3 years old - complete with hair dye. The only problem was his hair was pale blonde and the black dye didn't exactly wash out.

His family is also delightful, passionate, hilarious, and unpredictable. I miss them just as well. His mom cried when I came to visit after moving to Germany, which reminded me how much people miss me. They all taught me to not take life so seriously and that it's OK to embarrass yourself from time to time.

I can't think of Ryan or his family without thinking of laughter. Side splitting laughter.

He gained the name 'Mister Ryan' from a young boy who had an insane amount of issues. I am honestly thinking this troubled boy didn't / won't end up being a serial killer because of Ryan. The first time I met this boy we were picking him up at his new 'school'... at juvenile detention. This stout little fellow was trying to convince us that he needed a wheel chair because he simply didn't like walking. We would take him out and socialize him, which occasionally had interesting consequences. Sometimes it entailed him flying off the handle and spouting off more expletives than a sailor. This was usually induced when he had certain food dyes or preservatives.

I think my favorite instance with this boy was when we took him to a thrift store and bought him whatever he wanted, which ended up being a wig - it was salt and pepper with these strange elastic loops. He fastened the loops around his ears and refused to take it off for way too long. His mother had to plead with him not to wear it to school.

Stefan and I both had our siblings and our best friends in our wedding party. Mine was my sister and Ryan.

Today is Ryan's birthday! I miss him so much and already anticipate when he comes to visit me and all of the humorous situations that we'll encounter. So Ryan - please come soon! Germany needs a bit of your humor.