Expat Tips

The decision to move abroad can be daunting. It's probably not for everyone, although I do personally believe everyone has something to gain from seeing the world from another vantage point.

It's incredible how many different ways there are to do things and there isn't a 'right' way to do them, despite what many tell you, which is why I left the questions open ended. In my experience those who never have ventured out of their comfort zone tend to be the loudest in letting you know their way is the best. Some things work for certain people and not for others.

I've frequently been asked about considerations and for tips on starting a life in another country. Many of these things apply to living anywhere in the world when moving internationally. I'm not an immigration lawyer or expert, so I don't have the answers to all of those questions, but this list may help in putting things into perspective.

If you're trying to immigrate to the United States check out Visa Journey or enter the green card lottery.

- Missing family, friends, foods, and certain aspects of 'home' is difficult on the emotional end. People say the will visit and don't, they may not understand your life, and they may fall off the face of the earth. Dealing with a substantial time change makes contacting people difficult and it's not uncommon to be the last to know the latest news among family and friends. Thankfully there is skype, instant messaging, emails, and snail mail. You'll quickly find out who remembers you. At times it can be disappointing, but make the effort to keep in touch with those you care about.

- Be prepared to never feel fully 'home' again. You'll most likely always miss someone or some thing once you've moved. This is probably true in moving city to city, but more noticeable when dealing with other cultures as well. There are high highs and low lows, so just prepare yourself for that. Or at least make yourself think you're prepared for that.

- It's not vacation every day. Sometimes things become common place and the excitement can wear off once the everyday life sets in. Believe it or not there are still chores to be done and bills to pay, occasionally the seemingly easy (hello, washing machine) has suddenly become difficult.

- Some people are sent abroad for jobs, some fall in love, and some simply find a city that they dream of living in. These considerations will apply to everyone, although some circumstances make things much easier:

Visas + Permits

• What will you need to do to apply for a visa (x-rays, police records, translated official documents, etc)? How long will it take to process? What are the benefits and limitations of specific types of visa, and can you choose from different visa options? [If moving to Germany read this]

• Is there a possibility to obtain dual-citizenship? How long does it take?

• Are your passport, driver's license, job certifications, other forms of ID, shots/vaccinations, etc are all up to date before you apply for a visa and especially before you move? Applying for renewals from abroad is a big hassle. Sometimes it must be done in person.

• Is there are reciprocity for exchanging a driver's license to the locals license? Will you have to pay money or take courses?

• Do you have copies of important papers including notorized or apostilled copies of marriage licenses or transcripts?

• Does the country have any particular rules pertaining to expats, ie. having to hire a certain number of local employees (cook, gardener, maid, etc)?

Work Life

• Do you need a work visa before entering the country or can you get one after you arrive?

• If moving for your job or transferring with the company what issues will be important to you to negotiate?

• If married, will both partners be allowed to work? Are there job perspectives for both partners? If one partner can't work, what are their other options?

• Are spouses or partners invited to workplace functions?

• If you lose your job is there a distinct amount of time before you are forced to leave the country?

Health Care

• Will you have access to the (public) healthcare system? If not, what can you expect to pay in insurance, and what will this insurance cover, and when?

• What types of medications difficult to find or illegal to bring?

• What kind of immunizations / vaccinations will you need before going?

Food + Water

• Is it okay to drink tap water or from a distilled bottle even though it doesn't look clear?

• Are there cooking ingredients that are not available that should be brought?

• What type of measuring system do they use for foods? Should you bring measuring cups or a cook book of their ethnic dishes in your local language?

Everyday Life

• Are you able to drive in your new country? Rent a car?

• Is it pedestrian / bike friendly?

• Is there a subway / public transport system? How expensive is it?

• Can/should you ship your car? If so what are the additional safety/enviromental regulations? Are there road taxes?

• For the city/region, how's telecom (generally)? Is it typical to have your house phone/internet up and running within a week or two or is the wait more like 6-8 weeks, in which case are wireless cards/keys worth it?

• Will your electronics work there or will you have to buy tons of adapters + convertors?

• Is there a book store with publications in your native language?

• Are your DVD's or games going to work over there (region free, etc. )? Does your DVD player have a 'cracking' code?

• What are the area's religious views? Will this change the way you practice your own faith? Will you need to wear special clothing to blend in with others?

Children

• Do you want to potentially have children there? What is pregnancy and childbirth like in this country?

• Would the child / children have the ability to gain a second citizenship? How do you register births with your homeland(s)?

• What kind of educational system is there for children?

• What kind of activities/after-school programs are offered?

• How will the school communicate with you (for those who don't yet speak the language)?

• What is expected of you as a parent (as in contributing volunteer hours, etc)?

• What holidays do children celebrate? And how do they celebrate them?

• Which medications are over-the-counter and which will you need to obtain from a medical professional?

• Will your child be able to get medical care the day you arrive? What about dental care? Eye-care and glasses?

Pets

• Can you transfer pets to this country? If you get a pet in your new country, and want to move it to another country later, what would you need to do?

• Is the country/city pet-friendly? Will it make renting a home or apartment more difficult?

• Is there an option to board pets when you want to travel?

• Does the country quarantine - how long is mandatory and how expensive is it?

Community

• How easy is it for you to travel home from there?

• Is there an expat community present?

• Are there organizations to get involved with for volunteer opportunities?

• Is this a country where you can meet and interact with locals, or will you mostly need to rely on other expats?

• Are there lots of other expats in the area, and is there an active network?

• Are special programs available to foreigners to learn the language?

• What are different areas known for and what areas are most desirable to live in?

• What is the crime rate and some of the local laws?

• Are there local customs that you should be aware of, including holidays?

Moving & Accommodations

• Can you bring your things? How much would this cost? Are there customs restrictions? How long would it take (approximately) for your things to arrive at your new house?

• What type of living arrangements will you have access to?

• Can you choose your own accomodation, or does the company choose for you?

• What can you expect to spend on accommodation?

• Is it safer to live in an expat neighborhood/compound?

• Can you buy, or do you need to rent?

• Can temporary residents get a mortgage?

• If you own a home what will you do with it?

Finances, Taxes, and Banking

• What will you be expected to pay in terms of taxes? Will you receive any government benefits?

• Are you paying for things you won't have access to, or can you get a rebate?

• Are there any partner banks that offer benefits in the new country?

• How often will you be paid and in which currency?

• What about retirement savings? If you can/must put money into company/government pension schemes, can you take that money with you if you leave the country?

• Will you be eligible to get the country's social security?

• Will you have to pay taxes in your home land even while you are abroad?

• Will you/can you transfer money to your "home" bank if necessary?

Useful sites:
Expatistan - cost comparison between cities
If it were my Home - very interesting country by country comparisons
Expat blog - a directory of various locations from an ex-pat perspective
Internations - a community of expats with local chapters around the world
Spotted by Locals - tips from locals around European cities

If I forgot anything please leave a comment and I will add it to the list!

Stereotype Maps

An interesting look at Europe can be seen through maps designed by Bulgarian designer and illustrator Yanko Tsvetkov. He's compiled some of the perceived views from various countries about themselves, their neighbors, and fellow EU members.

According to him here's:

Germany's view of Europe

... and the US's view of Europe

More countries are listed on his site, which provide lots of thought provoking topics for conversation.

You can even buy a t-shirt for the German speaking world. Nothing like being seen as the European savings bank, but that is a widely held sentiment here.

Also note the Balearic 'German' Islands (including Mallorca)... that's pretty accurate too. We even overheard a man telling a woman working at a café in Palma that spoke Spanish to him, 'No, alemán' (No, in German). Unreal.

[All images from Yanko Tsvetkov]

Tonlé Sap

(This post is a follow up from our trip around the world. I will be writing a recap for each place we visited during our 4 month trip. Prior to Cambodia we also visited India, Nepal, Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore).

- Visiting Tonlé Sap takes some effort, but it's most definitely worth it. We chose to go a bit further at the recommendation of our hotel and it took roughly 2 hours to get to the Kampong Phluk Village (Harbor of the Tusks). This area is less touristed due to being only accessible by water.

- Getting out of the city area was very eye opening and heart warming. We saw so many adorable little school children and even tinier ones with little tanned bottoms that would wave and say 'Hello!' with so much enthusiasm. Once again we were shown so much kindness and generosity without expectations for anything in return. I truly can't think of a more hospitable place.

- As we went down many dirt roads and it crossed my mind that we were so trusting, because we really didn't have an idea where we were. That vulnerable state seems to really awaken all senses. It's so nice to get out of the city and to see how people truly live. This day will forever stay in my mind.

- After our long journey we arrived at the boat station where a young boy started our boat. It was clear he was accustomed to navigating the water. At one point he the engine stopped and he climbed out on the side and began finagling around in the middle of the lake. Evidently he's also well versed in fixing engines.

- Along the way we saw a very small island packed with cattle, random foliage growing in the water, and the occasional settlement or home. The lake was especially vast due to the recent heavy rains and our arrival at the end of the wet season when it swells to 4 times its original size.

- Approaching the large housing area was one of those eye opening moments seeing how people could live entirely on water. I worried about children falling in and found it interesting to think they learned to row boats and swim before running and riding bikes. Impressively these homes have stilts between 6 and 10 meters high to keep them above the water line. When the water decreases temporary housing is built to follow the fish.

- Living surrounded by water naturally brings about the difficult nature of using the water to bathe, clean, and use the restroom. Thankfully this is the largest fresh lake in Southeast Asia. We also saw signs with US flags on several water wells in land. Not having proper bathroom facilities or clean water should be something everyone has access to.

- Fish was clearly the staple food, however we also saw chickens in cages underneath homes, and piglets in boats. There were also small floating markets.

-We were transfered from our larger boat to a small row boat so we could visit the submerged mangrove forest. It was a very beautiful place and surprisingly quite large. I was also surprised when the woman rowing the boat pulled out a cell phone with images to show us where she was taking us. It definitely showed me that even being so far out how inter-connected the world really is.

- The only very tiny area of land had the community school, healthy center, and a small pagoda. We also saw a police station and what appeared to be a lot of political signage.

Kampong Phluk felt like a testament to both what people do to survive and also how resilient people are, although not necessarily by choice. It's so impressive to see people live so close with nature and I wish I could have talked to more people about they knowledge they've gained from doing so.

It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you."

- Frank Lloyd Wright

The Secret Society for Creative Philanthropy

I read about the Secret Society at the San Francisco Chronicle and it just made me so happy.

It's great to hear about people doing good things, just because.

A few days ago I met with some friends and we were discussing how in Germany it's not typical to say excuse me, I'm sorry, or to hold the door for others.

If you do, it's typically met with a 'nichts (or in Bavaria nix) passiert' - "nothing happened". One person mentioned she thought this summed up the German culture, while someone else went as far as to tell me once I lost my manners I would be integrated into the German way of life.

3.5 years and counting and I refuse to let that happen, even if it gives me away as a foreigner.

It's really interesting how hesitant people become when you offer to do something nice. They instantly think there must be a catch.

German readers - don't forget today is the last day to enter for the Amazon.com 50€ gift certificate! Just leave a comment on this post about your favorite ways to save when you travel!

New Delhi: Day 1

Our arrival into New Delhi was nice, but boy was it hot - already at the break of dawn. We were met with the heat, honking horns, and a bit of chaos. A definite welcome to India.

Reality check #1: Be prepared to sweat more than you thought humanly possible.

We didn't have to negotiate our way around the tuks, because we hired a driver for our stay before we left Munich. A guide and driver promptly met us and gave us marigold leis and bottles of water. That was a much easier way to soothe our jet lag.

Before I left I was constantly told the same words of wisdom about India, 'You either love it or you hate it', and 'Make sure you check your water bottle to make sure it is sealed and hasn't been refilled'.

On our way to our hotel we quickly saw things are very different. We saw what is supposed to become their subway system in anticipation for the 2010 Commonwealth Games, which are to be hosted in New Delhi. Throughout the next days we would constantly hear about it on the news, from our guides, and around the city. Everyone was excited and also a bit curious how things would come together.

Reality check # 2: Forgo any prior knowledge of what is safe and don't tell your Mom about it until you get home.

We were instantly struck at how odd it was driving into town, namely because the highways weren't highways like I know them. Instead any type of transportation was permitted, including animals, bicycles, and pedestrians. Safety was entirely different - often the cars would not have seat belts, seeing 4 or more people on a motorbike was considered the norm - and no one had a helmet on. Car seats for children and babies are nonexistent and they would often be riding on their parent's lap as they drove or sandwiched in and taking a nap to the gentle hum of the motor.

When we arrived at our hotel, in our jet lagged haze, it was culture shock to say the least. Our driver pulled up to our hotel and for a few minutes we actually didn't realize this would be our home away from home, off and on, over the next several weeks.

The hotel reeked of furniture polish when we initially arrived and then we were lead up to our room, which was a wonderful little oasis. We had a large shower area, wireless internet, and the ultimate luxury - air conditioning (we don't even have this in Germany!).

Everyone was very attentive to our every whim and everyone expected a tip as well. This is something else we had been warned about, however weren't entirely prepared for. You see when you convert money they don't often give you small bills, so it's easy to dole out very generous tips. Lesson learned - get small bills pronto!

We got acclimated to the noises and would peer out our window to the dusty street below. There was a small and colorful Hindu temple directly outside with a many visitors ringing a bell throughout the day. We heard the constant honking and from time to time cows mooing or dogs barking.

After resting up we decided to venture out. We had a 'park' in front of our hotel, although walking past was enough. We were armed with directions from the hotel and wandered into the middle of our neighborhood - Karol Bagh. As soon as we walked out the door the heat was absolutely stifling. I tried my best to not breathe in the humid air that was suddenly acrid as we passed open urinals on the street.

We left with a mission - to see the area, take some photos to send our parents, and to buy several bottles of water. The amount of attention we would receive was also a big surprise for us.

It didn't take long before we appreciated another luxury - trash service. The streets were littered with random detritus and I was happy to have worn closed toe shoes. In some areas animals of choice (usually dogs, cows, or pigs) would be scavenging for anything edible. We were faced with the reality that life here is incredibly hard for most.

Our first day in India was intense. We were jet-lagged, tired of sweating, annoyed at getting heckled, and feeling immense guilt for having more than the average person.

Reality check #3: Be grateful for everything... education, family, food... - EVERYTHING.

Wir sind hier!

... (we are here) - Back in Munich that is.

I have to say it's really a bizarre feeling to be 'home' after 4 months on the go, but for some reason home has become relative and this also feels temporary. We've grown accustomed to being transient. I'm sure after the jet lag wears off and we are back to our old stomping grounds it will be a good dose of reality.

We have stacks of mail to go through, daily life to get back to, and favorite foods to devour.

I'm looking forward to:

- cooking
- eating mass quantities of delicious cheeses
- admiring how wonderful our subway system is

- seeing what's changed in Munich (we even have a new subway stop!)

I'm not looking forward to:

- freezing temperatures

- missing friends + family

- not having authentic {insert ethnic food dish here}

- not spending 23.75 hours a day with Stefan

Even though we've traveled to far away lands many times, this time is slightly different, because we were gone for so long. It's actually hard to remember what life was like before we left. We grew accustomed to changing scenery, languages, cultures, hotels, and living even smaller than normal. While I am really excited about getting back to the normalcy of daily life - (you really wouldn't imagine how difficult it can be wondering how you'll get your laundry done or missing the ability to cook meals for yourself) we also face the trip return let down.

The challenges through out the trip were more personal and often came from unlikely places. Being confronted with how others live can be sobering, humbling, and difficult.

We often vacillated between feeling as though we could help save the world and as though the world's problems are immensely larger than us. We would jot down notes, quotes, and striking sites as they happened, hoping to capture the feelings and emotions we went through. Traveling constantly and for such an extended time made us work at not becoming desensitized to what we were seeing and experiencing. It opened our eyes to the intricacies that are unique to each culture and having a best friend to share the experiences continues to give us many interesting conversations.

After being gone for so long the culture shock becomes somewhat normal and slowly it becomes even more difficult to figure out our place in the world. It's not so simple to return home and feel purposeful or as though what we are doing with our lives is meaningful. The lessons on the road are immeasurable.

As we reflect on things it's easy to forget the sweltering heat of Southeast Asia or the occasional difficulty of frustrating your spouse. We have a good laugh when thinking of one of the most stressful periods of the trip - driving on the opposite side of the road, and hearing each other say one too many times, 'Hon, - uh Hon... I think you're a bit close over here' or dealing with a renegade taxi driver. Thankfully for the most part those were our biggest hang ups.

While living abroad is a fantastic experience it's not always as romantic and exciting as you would expect. The most challenging part isn't necessarily the language or cultural differences, but never feeling completely at home. One of the biggest struggles is the more you open yourself to other cultures, foods, and people, the more you have to leave behind and miss. This trip has only reiterated that point.

Traveling seems to give more answers, but also plenty more questions.

That being said we usually just quelch missing everything with discovering something new and planning our next adventure to have something to look forward to. We already have a getaway booked for Easter weekend!

Plenty of recaps and photos to follow. We have over 30,000 photos to go through!!

hello - namaste!

Just a quick note to let you all know we are safe and staying very busy seeing so many wonderful things. We never quite knew how a trip like this would feel - being constantly on the road and missing those luxuries from home.

After almost 10 days of travel I can say that we've been distracted enough to not miss home too much yet. Missing people is another story, so keep those emails coming to let us know how life is where you are!

We started our trip in India with visits to New Delhi, Jaipur, and of course Agra for the Taj Mahal. Some days we had a 5 hour drive, but it was really nice to see the city outskirts - even though we really weren't prepared for a lot of what we saw. I think our driver said it best, 'Money - big problem'. Social issues always stress me and I think I take them on as my own, so this hasn't exactly been a relaxing get away. Even so, I wouldn't have it any other way. People here are very grateful that we come to their countries and that we have an interest in their cultures.

It's still taking a lot of time to process, but thankfully Stefan and I are going through this together and can talk about it all. I have to say I have one amazing partner in crime.

Right now we are in Kathmandu, Nepal where were are taking in another culture and at times sweltering our lives away with 90F / 32C temps.

There is so much to see and the sites and colors here are absolutely striking. I still can't get over how welcoming everyone has been.

I will try to get some photos up soon. Working on a tiny netbook does make me miss my Mac. I completely have to relearn how to use a PC, which I should have done before we left!

Schuletüte

All of the little ones are going back to school. The yellow school buses and glorified school supplies are American luxuries that don't exist here. Sadly, you can't even purchase crayola markers in Germany.

The school children don't completely miss out... at least when entering first grade. This momentous occasion is marked with a Schuletüte, which is a cone filled with candies and tiny presents to make the transition a bit easier. Stefan tells me one of his co-workers has a son that just entered first grade and he made his own Schuletüte as a final project in Kindergarten.

The school system in Germany is complex. Can you imagine your grades and test scores in the third grade dictating that professions you could have down the road? In Germany the children are tracked towards attending a Hauptschule (9 years of schooling), Realschule (10 years of schooling), or Gymnasium (12 years of schooling - recently changed from 13).

I still remember my mother in law saying she was amazed that President Obama could come from such humble beginnings and eventually go to a prestigious university and become president. The chances of something like that happening in Germany are slim to none.

Attending Gymnasium paves the easiest route to getting into a University, so the pressure is really on from a very early age. As always, the higher the education the more opportunities and options. This system can be really oppressive to foreigners who haven't grown up with German as a first language.

In the United States, which is the system I am most familiar with, the students attend school until the 12th grade. It strikes Stefan as odd that each and every county and school district can differ in when they have holiday breaks and vacations or when school begins, both in dates and times. What is odd to me is that until recently each and every German state used to decide how many years their children would go to school.

Then there is the issue of perpetual students. Those who were fortunate enough to attend a University often stay there for quite some time they are able to do so because going to a University here is incredibly affordable. Not always, but typically (especially in comparison to the US). There was a large outcry when students were asked to pay roughly 500€ / $700 per semester. Unfortunately at my university it cost about that much for every credit hour - and most people took around 18 a semester.

The perpetual student issue creates a very educated population, however we also have a shrinking population. So many people marry much later here than their counterparts in other countries. That's another issue unto itself.

Visas

Last week I paid a visit to the US Consulate to get pages added to my passport. I'll take it as a good sign that I am running out of space and that our trip is quickly approaching. The consulate is such an interesting place. Believe it or not there weren't too many Americans there. The waiting room was filled with nervous energy of people who wanted visas to enter America for various reasons.

I eavesdropped on the conversation of two young German women as they discussed their interviews. While I know getting a visa into the US is no walk in the park, the interview was a lot of nervousness for nothing, which I realized after also overhearing that. Both of the women were going to work as au pairs. I could sense the excitement and only hope their fascination with America didn't quickly end with whiney over indulged kids. I'd really love to know what aspects of American culture will shock and intrigue them.

Of course no trip to the consulate is complete without checking out the nearby Eisbach surfers.

Soon I too will be waiting for visas for various countries. I also have a bit of nervous energy and excitement in not knowing what we will encounter.

I've been researching the different visa requirements for Germans and Americans to enter various countries. Next is getting to the doctor's office for the numerous vaccines we'll need. Hopefully we can finalize our route within the next week or two. We know where we'd like to go - both dates and routes, but we need the go ahead from the airlines. These are the somewhat straight forward issues.

I'm trying, in every way possible, to be educated on a variety of situations. For some reason I cannot stop watching 'I Shouldn't be Alive' on the Discovery channel. I'm sure there is a part of me that thinks if I were to end up in a situation like this, I want to know how people made it out.

Just the other night I was lying in bed and said to Stefan, "You know what else I should pack for our trip? A belt, because it could be used as a tourniquet if need be." There's nothing worse than not being prepared - although I hope there never is a need for a tourniquet or learning about another country's medical system.

air emergency

A warning that this post is a bit morbid, but I can't stop thinking about it. I'm talking about flight 447 'disappearing' between Brazil and Paris. It also doesn't help that I was watching the National Geographic show Air Emergency.

Where the problem begins is that for whatever reason, I always seem to make the world's problems my own. I dwell on them, I over think them, and I'm often told that I'm a bit too compassionate. I still don't think that's possible.

Plane wrecks are very controversial to discuss and they make people very uneasy, even despite the very low percentages of their actual occurrence. According to statistics there's a 1:5 chance of dying from heart disease, a 1:100 chance of dying in a car accident, and a 1:20,000 chance of dying in a plane wreck. (Numbers always seem to fluctuate from year-to-year according to who is analyzing things, and from where, but even so, the odds are pretty huge.) Of course the closer you look the more correlations you can find, as Stefan says, 'if you are massaging the numbers'.

Tomorrow I will be flying back to Munich alone. I'm truly not a nervous flyer - if anything I go into things thinking 'whatever happens, happens'. I have such a happy life and of course I want to continue living it, but I am recently reminded just how much is out of my hands, which is why I go with the laid back 'whatever happens, happens' approach.

In 2003, I was in an emergency landing. It sounds much more dramatic than it was, but I was traveling alone and it was my first trip to Europe. Our plane was losing gasoline over the Atlantic Ocean and then we were told we'd be turning around and heading to Amsterdam for the night. The pilot had to dump an insane amount of gasoline to get down to landing weight and we could see it being dumped from the wings. Many of the passengers began talking and trying to comfort each other. I still remember the woman next to me telling me about her animal skull collection. Seriously bizarre. Once we arrived it was mentioned we may use the same plane to depart later that night, which people were adamantly opposed to. Several of the flight attendants were really not that great at staying calm, even despite their training. That always struck me as odd.

After graduating college I decided that I would considering becoming a flight attendant myself, especially if it meant being able to visit Stefan more frequently or being able to have him meet me in far away locales. Another perk was up to 90% off fares and instant upgrades when available. That was pretty convincing.

I saw an ad in the newspaper and I went to the interviews. After sailing past the others I was chosen from about 100 people for training. Before I knew it I had an inside look at the flight industry. There was a lot of interesting information - including each and every flight attendant must carry a small confidential book with information regarding every procedure, even down to how you should handle 'VIP' customers. Your book needs to be updated at all times and the pages are not to be simply stuck in, but they are to be filed properly and you may be periodically checked or fined if it is not up to date.

The most interesting topic discussed was also the most important - safety. I was incredibly shocked to see some of the images, like the one in this article that say it's safest to pick a seat towards the back of the plane and on an aisle. (I also check seatguru for more information on specific airlines and types of planes.)

Some of my Mom's words of wisdom were reiterated - like wearing closed toe shoes and being aware of where the exits are before something happens. Then there were other things that I learned in training. For example, it's best to actually count the seats that it takes to get to an exit, because in a smoked filled plane you may not be able to see. Or if someone gets stuck in one of the lavatories you can help them escape by flipping a panel and opening the door.

When I was in London this year I was super excited to find 'Outliers: The Story of Success' the newest Malcolm Gladwell book, on sale. I promptly bought it and read through it in about 2 days. I highly suggest reading all of his books. They give you so much to ponder. In the latest there were a number of intriguing topics, including one about Harlan, Kentucky, where I helped build a house one summer in high school, and the most fascinating was chapter number 7 - The Ethnic Theory of Plane Crashes.

It suggests 7 human errors happen before a catastrophe and most often they are errors in communication. Considering English is the language of the air traffic control, it's often a second language for many pilots. Even in using English as a common language, there are small nuances that aren't always picked up on between cultures and there are major differences in how people challenging authority figures and how it is done.

So why didn't I go through with becoming a flight attendant?

There were the sorority like aspects of getting sized up each and every day. Our outfits had to be very precise. We were required to wear a black belt with pants and jewelry was permitted, but there was a limit to number of earrings and accessories. There were even regulation bags and purses, which we would be required to carry.

I quickly learned I was the only one to have graduated college and one of few that had a passport prior to training, which was another requirement. We were holed up in a hotel, close to the airport, and there really wasn't anything for us to do besides learn the material and get to know our 'flight class', which sounds easy enough.

We had a driver who would take us to the grocery at a designated time and he told us, flat out, that most of us wouldn't stick with this lifestyle for an entire year. I still remember going to a dinner with the other ladies one night with a young woman who had been working as a flight attendant for a couple years. She promptly told us how as soon as we were in the union we could carry whatever purse we wanted and how she loved using beauty appointments as a tax deduction. She also said her father helped to support her, because the pay was that bad.

Many of the women had work large carriers and after 9-11 when they had been downsized. Finally things were picking up and they could go back to the jobs they once enjoyed. One woman spoke of her ex-husband, who was coincidentally German, and how she didn't get anything in the divorce. Another women spoke about her children, who she never saw. It made me wonder what the point was.

The class was divided up into seniority according to who was the oldest and who had the most experience. The women who had been flight attendants said that's why so many of the international flight attendants are older women - they keep their jobs for eons, because they finally get paid decent money and the hours are more manageable. Speaking additional languages also helps.

Slowly things for me began to unravel. I would have to live in one of 4 cities, and although I could designate which I found most desirable the chances of needing to move were very high, despite the pay not being equal. Everyone who was more senior would have their choice fulfilled first. Typically people end up in what they call a 'crash pad', which are often in hotels or sometimes a shared apartment. The thought of having tons of random people coming and going really wasn't appealing.

There is a limit to how many hours you can work each month due to constantly being in cabin pressure, but often times you'd have to be on-call, so you had to be no further than one hour away with your bag packed and ready to go. There was an upfront investment for uniforms and the required luggage and handbags. We were told how the polyester dresses were the most effortless, because you could wash them in the hotel sink and it would be dry by morning.

Being on the road, or in the skies I should say, sounds exciting. The longer training went on the more I saw what kind of characters I would be interacting with and staying in random hotels with around the US. Everyone talked about their promiscuous lifestyles and pilot boyfriends or the womanizing men they would encounter. Everything lost it's appeal. The thought of being holed up with these people was my breaking point. I prefer to stay on the tourist side of things - don't they say 'keep your work life and your home life separate'? Maybe that's just an adage that I've picked up from being in Germany too long.

reunion

Being home I quickly realize how much I have changed. While it's fantastic to see friends and familiar faces, I see how different our worlds are. It's not always easy being between two cultures and not quite knowing my place in either one.

Sometimes I walk a fine line of not wanting to disappoint my parents in being too happy in Munich, despite the fact I know they want me to be happy. I like to think I have a knack for focusing on the positive and seeing the bright side of things and living in Munich is no different. The prospect that I could stay there for a longer amount of time or forever is daunting to them. At times it's daunting to me as well. I get the itch for something new and different, despite knowing the quality of life will be tough to match.

It's extremely difficult not to have the answers over something as seemingly simple as where we will live. Most people choose stability in their lives, since we're creatures of comfort and routine, however I find myself going the opposite direction and questioning if that's normal or what is wrong with me. Life abroad isn't easy or straightforward, and at times it can get lonely, but every day is a challenge. I sometimes think that's what makes me thrive and keeps me appreciative of the simple things.

This past weekend was the reunion from my University, which is really a spectacular place. Everyone wanted to talk about life and what they have been doing. They had plenty of questions for me, including where Stefan was. It would have been so much nicer if he was here - everyone missed him and every little detail reminded me of our time together on campus where we met.

These are the people that I shared some of the most wonderful years of my life with, yet things are different. Some are married, some have children, and it's reality that we'll never go back to what we had - living in a neighborhood with our closest friends or staying up all hours of the night to talk with few cares or problems. The lessons I learned are still profound. I still prefer experiences as opposed to things and think time spent with people is the most important gift to give.

I'd rather go to an intimate dinner and share a meaningful conversation than go to a house party and drink cheap beer out of plastic cups or eat cheap pizza late into the night, but for one weekend it's nice to play college again. I love to appreciate our experiences that helped to shape us into who we are.

While I'm home I have the quintessential questions about when I'd be moving back, how well I speak German, or how we can afford to travel to so much. Below the surface there's so much more. The experiences that I've been given, or chosen for that matter, have really shaped me.

Through my German classes I've had to interact with so many cultures and speak with so many people who are facing similar, yet entirely different struggles. That is something most of my American friends have never and will never encounter. I admit that I do find it difficult to talk about world issues with so many people who have no interest in traveling for whatever reason. It's difficult to explain that the world is much larger than their hometown or trying to tell people about my classmates who have come from Iraq or another asylum seeking country without sounding haughty. I love learning from others and I realize I'm often the first American some people have ever met.

It quickly makes me realize that life is full of choices and priorities. My choice has been to share my life with someone I love and to learn about the world by experiencing it first hand. I have an inner need to take life in until it makes me want to cry, but I really wouldn't want it any other way.

The emotional roller coaster of saying hello and goodbye to the people that I love the most will never get easier, but slowly I do consider the fact that's the price I have to pay to be between two cultures. While most of my friends do live in the US, they don't get the privilege to visit friends and family for weeks at a time. It's easier to take things for granted when it's never been any different. That's a luxury that I don't have, but another reason that makes me so sure of my choice in choosing the life that I do. My friends, on the other hand, get to appreciate never having to miss things or to feel slightly misplaced as if they are on the outside looking in.

Everything reiterates how incredibly happy I am and I still feel the same way as when I graduated from college. I'm excited to share my enthusiasm for life with the world and yearn to help others.

Locked Up Abroad

Sometimes I feel like I live under a rock, because I'm not as up to date with pop culture (let's face it - German TV is nothing special... even the Germans agree).

I just learned about a new (at least to me) TV show called 'Locked Up Abroad', and I can't get enough of it. (In foreign markets it's called 'Banged Up Abroad'.

If you don't live in the US or you're not the proud owner of a sling box (we have one, but I still had never heard of the show), you can watch the it via YouTube.

It features true stories of people that barely make it home alive from their international adventures. Some have been abducted, some have made careless choices and end up in jail, but their stories are incredible and harrowing.

Don't even watch the ones about the Philippines without having tissues nearby.

Another series that I really enjoy is Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days. Each episode is an educational, challenging, and controversial look into the lives of others. These episodes can be watched via his website regardless of where in the world you live - (Thank you to whomever made that decision at FX!).

I also learned he'll be doing a movie adaptation of the popular Freakonomics book. I'm looking forward to seeing what that will be about.

Finally I can watch informative documentaries as opposed to Galileo, Germany's sorry attempt to being investigative, as they have 'Jumbo Schreiner' gorge himself on one more 'world's largest (insert type of food)'. I wish I was joking.

(photo courtesy of National Geographic)